The Story
Monday mornings are back! and I'm loving it. Today was the official start week for all classes at Esper Studios, thus meaning the first day of "refresher" Meisner exercises began. I felt like I was on the edge of my seat the entire class taking in what my fellow classmates were bringing to the table. I was eating up my teachers' comments and notes and jotting down the important/or inspired "thoughts" throughout class... and of course waiting in anticipation for my turn to come up next.... which wouldn't be until the end of class, but none-the-less, it came and it felt good. I got praises from other classmates (which is always nice, and great for the ego, but I have to remind myself that my art can not be validated by others, but only myself)... lol, anyways, What was nice afterwards, I was able to feel what worked and what I needed to work on more without anyone telling me... I was mentally going over the work in my head and questioning why this or that did or didn't happen and when there was a discount btw my partner and I why that might have been going on etc. In this particular situation, I believe the layering element was not stronger enough for me. Which, of course sent my thoughts into overdrive.
The Thoughts
In life, we know that there are many different layers driving us, "so-to-speak" to make certain choices, and actions everyday. Often times we deal with people on a very surface level, putting up walls and showing people only what we want them to see. We maintain connections through, what I call "basic chatter." However, durning this basic chattered that goes on day to day, our various layers that make up our lives can poke through conversations at any given point when sparked, kind of like voicing our opinions. Well, in life those layers are naturally there based on the experiences we've lived through. When doing the Meisner technique exercises, you have to create them, and thus know exactly what each person, relationship, and situation etc means to you. So when the spark comes, you are reacting from a deeper level of understanding, verses just acting on what the idea of it may mean. You have to know how you really feel about any and everything. So Although I knew exactly how I felt about my activity in the scene, I didn't fully commit to how I felt about who my partner was in the scene, but only allowed myself to feel the idea of it.
The Bigger Picture
How do you really feel? And at what level/layer are you expressing it? I think because there are so many layers to each and everyone of us, and we typically don't walk around earth dealing with people on our most intimate levels. When behavior sparks us deeper then surface we sometimes don't know how to re-act because we haven't really dealt with the issue at it's core. And/or we don't know how we really feel about it. Other times, we've just reacted from such a surface level stance so much by not dealing with it, we just blow it off with a "whatever." We won't let ourselves even entertain the idea that we are vulnerable people. I often have to remind myself that being vulnerable is not a weakness, especially in this world were it can be seen like a plague. Overall when dealing with our own layers and others, I think taking a deeper look at what is at the core and dealing with it at that level can only enrich our lives, interactions and relationships with each others and ourselves.
