My Retirement Plan...

The Story
I once had a friend whose greatest fear in life was becoming stagnant. Stagnant is defined by one of the search engines as 1) a lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement and 2) inactive, sluggish, or dull.

As I sit at work, checking in actors for their networking events, I can't help but think I have, or I am becoming stagnant in this job. Although this company is designed to help actors "advance" and "develop relationships" it has become a place of stagnation for me. When I come to work, I don't come to network, or grow, or advance anymore... I come to work as a desk clerk. At one point in my life, this job "fed me" in terms of my career it was exciting even. When I knew nothing about this business, I was able to learn who was who in this industry. I got to see the very many different ways actors carry themselves. I learned what to do and more so what not to do. I learned how roles are cast and who cast what types of roles. I've met a number of actors that I now call friends, or allies, and even coaches so-to-speak... but now, and for a while at that... I feel as if I have become stagnant. It's not that I don't love the people I work with because I do. It's a great company and great people to work for. I don't know whether I'm taking it for granted, maybe I need an attitude adjustment, or if it that I've just out grown the job. BUT...I do know, I am not a desk clerk. I did not move to New York City to check people in... so something has to give.

The Inspiration
This past Sunday in Church the Minster talked about divine retirement... but in the sense of "re-tiring" your tires. You are putting on new tires for a new chapter... or should I say a new road. Think about how many jobs you have already retired from... I put down my apron about two years ago... I retired my life from the world of restaurants and bars, which I had been doing since my teenage years and have never looked back because I am not a waitress.

Now, by no means do I plan to quit my job (well at least not now, that is)... It might not "feed" my soul or produce mental growth like it used to, but it feeds me literally and keeps my bank account out of the red zone. Plus, I really do love my co-workers. However, sometimes saying things out loud (or writing) can set in motion change, whether within my own thinking and/or approach to my job or by attracting what I want into my life... I am not a desk clerk. I am an actress. Again, I did not move to New York City to sit behind a desk.

The Thought
I was brought up thinking of retirement as a joyous thing when you can stop working, the whole "I want to be retired by 30 or 40"... But, if you love what you do... the thought of putting it down wouldn't seem like such a joyous thing anymore. If a large part of our days are spent working... why would we be doing something we don't want to do, something that doesn't fed our souls? Why would we become stagnant in our careers, or our jobs.

In acting class, will are creating different activities that are to bring us to life. We are exploring what makes us tick in good and bad ways. You know that energy you feel when you are really really really happy or sad or hurt or in rage... we go after those feelings. Often times, our critics are that what we chose to do in our activities did nothing to us or for us... They didn't spark life in us. Thus making a scene dull. And as in Actor, it's not fulfilling in the less, you sit down feeling defeated, like you wasted your moment on stage. I guess in life we should do he same... go after things that create life within ourselves, choose jobs that are fulfilling.

The Bigger Picture
We often hear life is short, but growing up I took in this message with a grain of salt, I didn't fully grasp what it meant. However, it's depth tends to stand out more when you are faced with loss... You start to think about life and what's important, and your happiness and goals etc. I know I have responsibilities. I know that I need money to support myself, but I also understand that I can not predict what tomorrow will bring or even if I am going to be here, my life span is in God's hands, and I believe I would be doing him a dis-service by taking my life for granted and being dull, inactive, and sluggish. I think I better start making my retirement plan for jobs that do not ignite my soul.