Fantasy vs. Reality...

The Story
Getting up and getting to work on this Saturday morning was tough!!! And I didn't even hang out last night! In my fantasy life, I am an early bird who wakes up around 6am to tea and the paper (backstage) while munching on some healthy fruit. Then hit the gym and start my day at the "office of acting" and then head to class or work.

My reality is that I hit the snooze at 7:00 til 7:30 (sometimes 8:30) then jump up (get mad at myself for hitting the snooze) then turn on some "hype... please wake me up music" shower, throw on clothes, make up and grab my shit, hail a cab, stop at Starbucks grab my Venti or Grande Chi tea latte and head to work or class depending on the day... praying I don't get called first in class or that it's not a busy day at the job. Lol, quite different from my Fantasy world I'd say.

I've always been a day dreamer. Since I was a little girl. Which isn't a bad thing... it's just.. I took it too far at times. (lol, smh) I would literally have more fun living in my head because my "fantasy life was just soooooo Amazing" (sidebar... I used to do this with "dates" and wonder why they never met up to my "expectations" lol, they were fabulous in my day dreams) But as I grew up a little. I realized that this was not the way to go... my "real world" was indeed so much better because it was real. However knowing the difference, and having appreciation for both worlds, especially as an actress is key. I can't help but want to turn some of my fantasy's into reality, like being a morning person!

The Bigger Picture
This morning got me thinking about how at many times we see ourselves through our own Fantasy goggles. Trust me I know what I want my life to look like (I have vision boards galore to prove it). I also know what type of woman I'm striving to become, and more so, I know how much work I still need to do to get there. What I often see in the city, is people, especially actors, living their life through their fantasy goggles and not taking the time out to see what's real,or better put not realizing when the goggles are on, myself included.

Numerous times I've plotted my map to success through my goggles of who I thought I was or who I want to be based on who I am in my fantasy, and wondered why I'm not able to follow through on certain plans. I've let people down from time to time by committing to things I thought I could do because I had my goggles on so-to-speak. I've been let down by people who portrayed themselves to be someone they wished they were only to find out they are not "there" yet. At times I get frustrated with myself that I'm not where I want to be and ask why my life is not how I picture it yet, why I'm not able to be the perfect city girl I "see" myself as in my fantasy. I realize this all has to do with not accepting the present moment and comparing myself to a fictitious version of myself which, as I write it is quite absurd. I like having the vision of who I want to be, so I know what I'm striving for, however I think the more I take off my goggles, and accept who I am right now and interact with the world as so, I will gain a deeper appreciation for the "real" world, and myself as I live through each present moment and I'd be able to enjoy the process of growing into that woman I see myself to be.