Now I've never read the book or saw the movie for that matter (maybe I will now) but as I was in class last week, I started to wonder at what point in my life, did I start to expect "things." In acting we are working on an exercise where you are not to except anything from your scene partner. This way, you have to live moment to moment and ideally, take everything in and have a point of view about it. I often get in my head wanting to plot out the way the scene goes... (have control) more so do it perfectly. I get in my head a lot, the ideal of perfection... I don't understand how I can mentally understand what to do, but not do it? This part of life frustrates me!
The Bigger Picture
I tend to think of myself as being pretty carefree, go with the flow, turn lemons into lemonade type of gal. I've come to realize however, that recently I've been unhappy with certain aspects in my life and/or have been disappointed a lot lately, and I've come to the conclusion I have high expectations. I expect things from people, from places, from situations... I realized I expect a lot and in return I get disappointed... a lot. Don't get me wrong, I believe there are certain places/situations in this world I should expect a certain level of quality or behavior, but I've gone to far. My "great" expectations in life made me take things for granted or dismiss experiences because they have not lived up to my expectations. I wonder how much of life have I missed out on because I was expecting A and got B, only to live out the next moments of my life with disappoint, hurt, frustration, resentful, stressed out! verses just accepting and experiencing "B" as is, who knows what could've came out of that?
The Lesson
As 2009 is coming to an end, I hope to truly take life as it comes with a childlike curiosity. I'll always have my standards of life, but my goal is not to expect other people and situation to have to meet up to my standards.
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