My Shameful Habit...

My Shameful habit
Oh those dirty habits I picked up in my college years SMH... I'm talking about "Half-Assing" it. Many people go to college for many different reasons sidebar (LOL@ my college days...How I loved those days). I can remember times that I would have partied the week away knowing I would have 10-20 page papers due... and be 100% stressfree living life up until about 24 hours prior to the class... tha'ts when I would buckle down head to a 24 hour diner (Majestic over on Ponce) order the chicken fingers and like 20 coffees til I got it done! (Of course I always got it done).

Now by no means did I get an A+ nor an A- for that matter but I'd at least get what I needed to pass with slightly above average grades... and this was "A-Okay" by me :) However... fast forward some years and I look back at how easy it would have been to get in A's in college... and that be by giving more then 50% of what I can do... If I can get C's and B's off some bullshit, imagine what I could've done with a little more effort.

The Excuses
My problem (well one of them) in college, I was living in a city filled with fun distractions... and I was a kid HA! Now, I'm in another city filled with even more distractions (not all fun though) and I'm still "Half- Assing" shit, because well, however this is going to sound... I'm so good at it and can get by... I've been doing it for so long that it's become a habit. I can blame it on my schedule, but like I said the other day, there really are ways to fit more in during my day. I just need to multi-task better and manage my time better. And, if I can't fit in the time to bring 100% to the table especially in terms of my acting training then I need to reduce my load.

The Story
I was at Esper the other day during my break talking to one of my buddy's comparing our blocks in classes (kinda of like writers block, but in terms of acting) and trying to diagnose potential reasons for the blocks... I know the technique we are learning is a process in it's self, so it takes time to sink in... but the leg work I do outside of the classroom is/ or can be the meat of my process. As we were talking I mentioned that I believed the cause to be my "shameful college habit." This got me thinking that if I continue with this behavior not only am I doing my acting craft a dis-service, I am wasting time, and money and my quality of life is even less because I'm giving the bare minimum... and what makes me think that when the time comes to give 100% say during an audition that I'm going to magically be able to bring my "A" game when I've only been working with my "C" game (wishful thinking... another blog).

The Lesson
I've been out of college for about 5 years now, and have not once been asked what my grade point average was... nor have I used half (maybe even more) of the information taught in school. However, what I have learned, the habits you pick up during school, you tend to carry with you when you are out of school... My brother, who has always been more disciplined and organized with his studies, brings 100% effort into all that he does, work, family, studies, church, finances... the whole shebang. Now yes, he is a smart guy, but he pick his habits of time management, multi-tasking, prioritizing, and will power at a pretty young age and developed strong skills to be a very responsible adult. I definitely look up to the guy for this and wished I wasn't always so aloof at times, but I'm learning...

The Bigger Picture
The quality of life... how can I give only 50% and expect 100% growth in return. I talk a lot about who and what kind of woman I want to eventually grow to become. Because of my career path, I also do a lot of self assessments so I'm tend to be aware of what's going on in my world and where there is room for improvements. I once heard life is like a spiral cord going up, because you tend to deal with the same issues (in one shape or another) over and over but the way you process these issues changes because you are dealing with them from a more developed mind set (hopefully). But you do have to aid your development skills. A good friend once told me "you can't do the same thing, and expect different results." And I also heard that it takes 21 days to create or break a habit... so here goes (I don't even know what # goal this is for me thus far) but none-the-less, here goes to putting my college habits to rest and increasing the quality of my life! Cheers *smiles*