Things are shaping up a little more since my last entry... in terms of life outside of acting, I think I've found "the one"... My apartment, that is. In terms of acting, I've reunited with a group of women who are also in pursuit of pounding the pavement. We've decided to hold meet ups twice a month to share our victories, advice, information, and support. We are going to give each other homework in terms of networking and things we need to do to further our careers.
One of the topics of the night that struck a cord with me was working smarter vs. working harder... As an actress you almost have to be split in terms of being the artist and being the business woman (or man)... and often these two sides conflict (no wonder people say you gotta be a little crazy to do this... you have to be wired a little different to deal with all your inner monologues). Maybe it's the artist in me that's attracted to the struggle and chaos of life. I know the artist side of me is craving training and wants to get to a deeper understand of my craft and become more and more open and present. The artist in me doesn't care about the money or the fame but only getting to the root of the stories in the world that have depth and inspire change or awareness to Ideas. But the business woman in me wants to work smarter and figure out what is really necessary to do, to have this be a lucrative career... From the artist point of view, unfortunately, this business is more "who you know, vs. what you know." You could have all the talent in the world but if the right people don't know you then you're stuck...
Conflicting Thoughts...
With all that being said, what's been on my mind a lot lately is how to balance these two sides of my brain along with life outside of my acting career. If I keep my schedule as is, my days are stacked with school and work, with very little time to actually put 100% into either of the two at that. I'm running from one to the next getting home in time to sleep and do it all again the next day. I know when in pursuit, sacrifices need to be made, but the older I get, deciding what I want to sacrifice is changing. I want to enjoy my life, and as one of the women in the group said last night, " I want to enjoy the process" (in terms of acting pursuit). On top of that I damn sure don't want to be struggling with money, and my "day job" is not the most profitable in terms of money, and there is not much room for another job with my schedule. Sooo choices, choices, choices... Do i make the hard choice and grind out? or do I make the "smart" choice reduce my schedule to make more money, network more and audition more?
The Bigger Picture
Working Smarter vs Working harder... and the balancing act between the two. This career is full of forks in the road that can lead you in crazy directions, but nothing is guaranteeing that one way is better then the other, or even that either road will take you to where you want to go. You are making a gamble with all choices... but a friend once said, when YOU make that choice... commit and go hard at it, make the best of it... if it's not what you wanted... you can either back track or take inventory of it and keep it moving til the next fork comes, and take what you've learned from the road you've trail thus far and at least make an educated gamble LOL, if that even makes sense...
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